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Fear

I realized my Fear of losing money after I saw a video on Youtube, selling me a book by Robert T Kiyosaki author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad.  And although I didn’t buy that book I went to take the Rich Dad, Poor Dad from the library. (Because I am not sure that I want to spend money on it before I read it, of course.)  As it turns out there are a few of my friends that have read the book and still had a copies.  So I was able to get the book right away.  There is some interesting information in the book.  The most interesting thing I read was in Chapter 8 Overcoming Obstacles.  The list started with FearFear of losing money.  This is a fascinating idea to me because isn’t everyone afraid of losing money?  I know I am.  The book goes on to talk about how we talk ourselves of out taking financial risk because of Fear.  If we don’t risk some money then the only option is to save money to become rich.  Now I know that I have heard about that before.  During high school, I recall sitting in an assembly where the miracle  of compound interest was explained.  The presenter who went on to say that the younger we start saving the easier saving for retirement would be.  Very similar to Richard T. Kiyosaki idea if you are afraid to lose money.  Unfortunately for me, I did not start saving for my retirement at 19 and now am not rich.  Boo Hoo.

As I continued to read about how fear  can stop us gaining wealth because we don’t risk the money that we have.  And if you wanted to be rich then you would have to learn to move past your fear and take the risk.  The advice to help you move forward past your fear seemed a little lacking in actually steps.  Although his voice comes from someone who obviously doesn’t like to lose money, he also understands that losing money is a part of risking it.  I am sure his experience has helped him to develop skills to help him calm his fears.

I am afraid of flying, it is traumatic for me to fly.  I am able for a time, calm myself down and finish the flight.  Even as I write that sentence I am recalling the last time I felt that pang of fear.  It was at the SkyWheel in Niagara Falls.  I sat there a little paralyzed next to my daughter.  Now she was probably feeling a little scared as well or possibly she was reacting my tensing and deep inhaling.  Either way she then looked to me to help her calm her fear.  I was able to tell her that I was nervous about being to high up and that I know it is safe.  It was okay is she was scared and everything will be okay.   Try to take some deep breaths and relax her body.  All of the things that I repeat in my head when I start to feel the fear setting in.  She did calm down somewhat, although I couldn’t really say for sure because I was freaking out inside.  The ride ended and we went on with our day.  This is how I react to flying as well.  The whole flight I am tense and working to relax myself enough not to run up and down the aisles screaming my head off.  So it is safe to say that I will never actually travel to Australia.

There was an article in the March 2016 Issue of Better Homes and Gardens titled, “What Are You Afraid of? A Reality Check for 8 Common Fears.” The 8 Fears were:

  1. Spiders and Snakes
  2. Flying
  3. Running Out of Money
  4. Identity Theft
  5. Getting Struck by Lighting
  6. Public Speaking
  7. Riding in Elevators
  8. Driving over Bridges

Cool, number 2. Obviously I am not alone.  I am not that fond of spiders and snakes either, truth be told. The article talks about the things you can do to help Face it down.  In a general note to overcoming fears there was a few different kinds of therapies and noting that treatment involves a second voice that can talk back to the fear.  Pretty similar to what I do to calm my fear.  I know flying in a plane is safe.  I understand enough about the quality and engineering of a plane to know that it is safe.  I can logically tell myself that nothing bad is going to happen.  I can also reason that if something does happen, it will likely be fast and I may not even know what is happening.  However, Fear is a funny thing.  I don’t stop being afraid, I just manage myself until it is over.  I don’t really stop being scared.  I have a fear of flying, however I can still manage to get on a plane and fly to Europe.  I know this because I have done it.  I was scared the whole time but I was able to get through it.  My fear is probably not high on the whatever scale they use to measure it. We all have fears that we deal with, some better than others.  And our fears all lie in a scale running from minor disturbance that is over quickly to a debilitating fear that prevents you from doing the things that you love.

Understanding that fear is a feeling, like love or joy is probably the first thing.  Feelings come on and then they leave, it is what you do with them is what can change.  Seeing puppies makes people happy, that is why there are whole facebook pages dedicated to dogs. 

Puppy Kismet
Puppy Kismet

It can bring a bit a happiness to an otherwise dull day, it just make you feel good.  You can stop feelings, you can only manage them.  Sometimes when we identify the feeling it helps to remember that you can’t stop it and it is okay.  Understanding that there is no logic to fear is also important.  If fear was logical it would be a thought.

I have flown many times and in many different vehicles, a helicopter and what amounted to a bus with wings as well as large planes.  I have been able to gain tools to help me to cope with the fear.  I have been able to see places and seen people that I love because I have been able to endure flying.  The tools that I have gained I mainly have done on my own but it is always helpful to have someone sitting net to me that can help me to calm myself.  Even if that person is there to just be calm.  Having a calm person next to me, helping me with comforting words I am able to help myself become calmer.   So much so that I have been able to fly on my own as well. 

So now that I am able to face down my fear of flying, maybe I should face down my fear of being rich.  I think I may need some help with that, if you can do that maybe we can trade some support.  You can help me with my fear of losing money and I can help you with your fear of removing that clutter.  Remember ReFocused can Help. 

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